Friday, October 31, 2008

Lame Ballgame: the Baseball Mixtape

Baseball has had a measurable impact on popular language and culture, at least in the English-speaking world. Right now in Ireland, for example, a country where nobody plays or watches baseball, I guarantee somebody is speaking in a business meeting about their company needing to “step up to the plate”, or that the latest projection for next month’s revenue is only a “ballpark figure”. No one will think about baseball when saying or hearing it, nor even realize there is a connection.

In terms of popular culture, one needs to look no further than Hollywood, where a new baseball movie begins production every three weeks. I made that statistic up, but here’s a real one: the phrase “baseball movies” returns 207,000 hits on Google. (“Rugby movies” is good for only 9,510.)

Baseball + Language = :-)
Baseball + Movies = :-)
Baseball + Internet = :-)
Baseball + Hot dogs = :-)

Baseball + Music = :-(

Baseball hates music

It’s partly because of those movies that the global language has absorbed baseball-derived idioms beyond the borders of FOX’s MLB franchise coverage map, and definitely not because of popular music. Baseball hates music, and vice-versa. I defy anyone to come up with a baseball mixtape that anyone wants to listen to. Sure, I’ve seen lists of baseball songs before, but they’re full of maudlin dross that reduces fine songwriters to sophomore philosophers. John Fogerty’s “Centerfield”? MORsville, no thanks. Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days”? I heard former major leaguer, broadcaster and amateur guitarist Bob Brenly on WGN this year say that no one “inside the game” has ever used or would ever use the term “speedball”, as featured in the Boss’s otherwise inoffensive ditty. It didn’t take long to find corroboration for my thesis that music/baseball hates baseball/music:


“…baseball is only a .180 hitter as a songwriter’s game. It has seldom secured substantial links with commercially successful music. During the past three decades, in fact, the decline of baseball-related lyrical imagery is staggering. The Billboard-charted tunes of Simon and Garfunkel, Meatloaf, John Fogerty, Bruce Springsteen, and The Intruders are really anomalies to a dismal showing for contemporary baseball tunes…Since 1960, baseball tunes have simply failed to attract substantial national interest.”


This is not to say that musicians don’t like baseball. On the contrary, look at Billy Corgan, Nils Lofgren, Eddie Vedder, or Johnny Ramone. Bing Crosby owned 15% of the Pittsburgh Pirates for over 20 years. Emmylou Harris, it turns out, is a baseball fanatic (“As soon as the show is over, I get on the [tour] bus and watch [ESPN’s] ‘Baseball Tonight.’ ”). And the players love music too: Roger Clemens’ favorite group is Led Zeppelin, Bronson Arroyo has his own band that plays in the clubs in Cincinnati, and Kerry Wood shills for Gibson guitars. None of this has resulted in a thing called “good baseball music”.

Bob Dylan’s baseball mixtape seems over-populated with novelty songs and olde time stuff. To fill up an hour-long show, he was forced to include two versions of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”—perhaps one of the worst songs ever written—with one of them performed by himself. This tune--used constantly in the background-- almost ruined Ken Burns’ nine-part documentary on the history of the sport, and it has taken on a grotesque level of over-importance at Wrigley Field in Chicago, where celebrities beg to lead the crowd in singing it during the 7th inning stretch so that they can also plug their latest project during in-game interviews on Cubs’ TV and radio telecasts.

But at least BD could come up with a tape. I feel like I got "caught looking," with two outs in the bottom of the ninth. I think I might need to forfeit on this one, and “take one for the team”. Because this is all I got:

· 2 promotional jingles for the Cubs: “Hey Hey Holy Mackerel” by Johnny Frigo, circa 1969, and “It’s a Beautiful Day for a Ballgame” by The Harry Simeone Songsters, dating back to 1960 and used on broadcasts by the Cubs, Dodgers and Mets intermittently ever since. There’s also the cheesy “Go Cubs Go” by Steve Goodman, recorded in 1984 as a radio promo and currently the team’s victory song, but I don’t like it and would not put it on a tape. Don’t much care for Goodman’s more serious “A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request”, either.
· I’m a Little Airplane (“I fly in the dark…over the baseball park…”) – Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers
· Beat on the Brat (i.e., “with a baseball bat”) – Ramones
· Brown-eyed Handsome Man (“2-3 the count, nobody on, he hit a high fly into the stands…”) – Chuck Berry
· Mrs. Robinson (the Joe DiMaggio references) – Simon and Garfunkel
· 10 different songs by the Beastie Boys with throwaway references to baseball, including teams (Yankees), players (Mike Piazza, Rod Carew, Phil Rizzuto, Sadaharu Oh), stadiums (Shea), pitches (curve) and bats (Wiffle).

Seriously, that’s all.

Here’s a link to BD’s baseball mixtape on Amazon.com. Its sales ranking is not provided. No customer reviews yet. Be the first.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I'll Quit Tomorrow: the Drink Mixtape

The Los Angeles-based “cowpunk” bands of the early ‘80s felt some kinship with more hardcore types, several of them appearing on the second volume of the Hell Comes to Your House compilation series. Driven by malt liquor and amphetamines, their slide guitars and hollering fit in somewhere between Tex Ritter and the Gun Club. Ritter, the 1930s cowboy country music pioneer, had an influence beyond mere style, lending his name to Tex and the Horseheads, while another band called itself after his famous song “Blood on the Saddle”. Along with the Screamin’ Sirens, these groups brought a boozy roadhouse vibe to a scene that raged briefly on the periphery of more successful acts like X, Los Lobos and the Blasters. Ritter’s jerky, hiccupping “Rye Whiskey” sets the standard for this collection of songs which includes a few that aren’t about drinking as much as naked alcoholism.

Jack o' Diamonds, Jack o' Diamonds and I know you of old
You've robbed my poor pockets of silver and gold
It's a whiskey, you villain, you've been my downfall
You've kicked me, you've cuffed me, but I love you for all

It's a whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
If I don't get rye whiskey, well, I think I will die

~

The subject of Blood on the Saddle’s 1986 entry in the Drink Mixtape (“Colt 45”) made a memorable appearance more than 20 years earlier in the Pleasure Seekers’ ode to underage drinking, “What a Way to Die”. The all-girl garage band from Detroit featured 15-year old Suzi Quatro, latterly of Happy Days fame, on vocals.


You’ve got the kind of body
that makes me come alive
But I’d rather have my hands around
A bottle of Colt 45


Baby come on over,
come on over to my side
well I may not live past twenty-one
but WOO!
what a way to die

~


As a Pogues fan, there was a danger that the Drink Mixtape would be taken over by the erstwhile drunken Celts, so after coming up with six relevant Shane MacGowan songs within about 10 seconds of not really trying, I decided to disqualify them from inclusion. One of the folk standards in their set list shows up here from an unlikely source, though. Never been a fan of Metallica in any way, really, except for their half-decent take on “Whiskey in the Jar”. I have to think it was some kind of tribute to Thin Lizzy, the Irish pop-metal band from the 1970s that first brought the 350 year-old number to a wide rock audience.

~

Fast forward from the 17th century to the 1990s, and a band—Oasis--that dumbs down drinking songs to new level. On “Cigarettes and Alcohol”, the Gallagher brothers are at their gloriously stupid best, raiding the great British pop mini-bar of various classic, musical refreshments, including T-Rex’s guitar sound, Johnny Rotten’s vocal phrasing, and—at least in the accompanying video-- the Jesus and Mary Chain’s visual style. The Dead Kennedys’ “Too Drunk to Fuck” is positively sophisticated by comparison, but not nearly as pretty.

Here is the full track list for the Drink Mixtape:


Beer Barrel Polka (Roll Out the Barrel) - Andrews Sisters
Six Pack - Black Flag
Colt 45 (Liquor Store) - Blood on the Saddle
Tequila - Champs
Rudie Can't Fail - The Clash
Too Drunk to Fuck - Dead Kennedys
One Bourbon, One Scotch, & One Beer - George Thorogood & the Destroyers
My Bucket's Got a Hole in It - Hank Williams
Drinkin' C V Wine - Howlin' Wolf
Brandy (You're a Fine Girl) - Looking Glass
Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind) - Loretta Lynn
Whiskey in the Jar - Metallica
Cigarettes and Alcohol - Oasis
What a Way to Die - Pleasure Seekers
Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad - Screamin' Sirens
I'll Quit Tomorrow - Tex and the Horseheads
Rye Whiskey - Tex Ritter


Two songs are the same on BD's drink mix, but only one with the same version:


Ain't Got no Money to Pay for this Drink - George Zimmerman & the Thrills
Drinking Wine Spo-Dee-O-Dee - The Electric Flag
Don't Come Home A-Drinkin - Loretta Lynn
Daddy And The Wine - Porter Wagoner & The Wagonmasters
I Drink - Mary Gauthier
I Drink - Charles Aznovour
Sloppy Drunk - Jimmy Rodgers
I Ain't Drunk - Lonnie The Cat
It Ain't Far To The Bar - Johnny Tyler & His Riders Of The Rio Grande
What's On The Bar - Hank Williams
One Mint Julep - The Clovers
Rum And Coca-Cola - The Andrews Sisters
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - John Lee Hooker
Who Will Buy The Wine - Charlie Walker
Buddy Stay Off That Wine - Betty Hall Jones
Whiskey You're The Devil - The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Mum's the Word: the Mothers Mixtape

No more drama:

“Save all the drama,” intoned the older, but not yet wiser Roxanne Shanté in 1992, “cause here comes the Big Mama.” At that point, eight years after her debut at age 14, the Queensbridge native proceeded to destroy all challengers in a lyrical firestorm of brutal intensity. Although the song “Big Mama” was not about Shanté’s own, real motherhood, it did have as its theme her self-perceived maternal position—as one of the first ever female rappers--in the extended hip hop family (e.g., sampling her signature line from an earlier record: “I gave birth to most of them MCs”). She was always from the old school of boasting rhymes, but this was a diss record of epic proportion, and a truly grand (or rather, grandiose) finale to her underappreciated music career (which, in unlikely fashion, gave way to an academic career culminating in a PhD in psychology -- not bad for a teenaged mom from the projects). Indeed, it seemed the grown-up Shanté went just that little bit too far on Big Mama, and on the last album (“The Bitch is Back”), trying too obviously to reinvent herself as a female gangster, pandering to the commercial tastes of the times. In the end, rap records in the 1990s were bought by boys and she could never fit the right mold; long-time fans recognize more of the clever 14-year old Roxanne in modern day interview clips as Dr. Shanté than they did in the cover of “The Bitch”, which depicted a blinged-up, gun-toting, uh, ho.

Melodrama:

A couple of other records about mothers, or which invoke mothers, exude not just drama, but supreme melodrama. When Morrissey calls out for his mummy in The Smiths’ “I Know it’s Over”, it’s because he’s sure he’s half-buried in his grave already: either his relationship or his life has gone inexorably (and theatrically—hey, it’s Morrissey) down the tubes. Sidetrack: for a hilarious look at how his ego is as big as his sense of drama, see this first person account of a crew member who was fired after the first day on the job... I notice that Mary Weiss’s 1965 hairstyle is in style at the moment (in Dublin, at least), and that new bands like Glasvegas (this year) and the Raveonettes (last year) are again name-checking the Shangri-La’s, whose “I Can Never Go Home Anymore” might be the only pop song more tragically melodramatic than “I Know it’s Over”. Like Roxanne Shanté, Weiss is also from the borough of Queens and grew up as a tough-girl performer, but in her music she—unlike the Queen of Emceein’--was able to show her vulnerable side, too.

I’m gonna hide
If she don’t leave me alone
I’m gonna run away

True life drama:

The teenaged Mary Weiss had not been speaking to her mother for a few years at that point and she was in tears during the recording, so this was not just a case of drama for the sake of performance… Two more on the Mothers Mixtape come from true life. Tricky called a whole album (Maxinquaye) after his mom, who committed suicide when he was five years old, and reportedly said he felt her singing his lyrics though him. As in the track Aftermath, maybe?

~

The back story of the Sex Pistols’ aural essay on abortion, Bodies, was always that the protagonist Pauline from Birmingham, “who lived in a tree”, was a mentally ill groupie who wrote to John Lydon and eventually turned up at his door in London. Only 18 years later in his memoir did he reveal another event—this time from his childhood--that inspired one of the band’s most powerful songs, and yep, it had to do with his mom (and a miscarriage, and an outhouse). Lydon’s Irish immigrant mother makes a second appearance on the Mothers Mixtape, as the focus of PiL’s Death Disco

Here’s the full track listing for the Mothers Mixtape:

Mamma Mia - ABBA
Blues In The Night – Dinah Shore
That's All Right Mama - Elvis Presley
Mother Popcorn, Pt. 1 - James Brown
Harper Valley PTA - Jeannie C Riley
Mother Queen of My Heart - Jimmie Rodgers
Mama Tried - Merle Haggard
Welfare Mothers - Neil Young & Crazy Horse
Death Disco - Public Image Limited
Mama's Boy - Ramones
Have You Seen Your Mother Baby Standing in the Shadows - Rolling Stones
Big Mama - Roxanne Shanté
Bodies - Sex Pistols
Mother Mo Chroi - Shane MacGowan and the Popes
I Can Never Go Home Anymore - Shangri-Las
Mama Used to Say - Shinehead
I Know It's Over – The Smiths
Aftermath - Tricky

Only two of the above overlap with Bob Dylan’s mixtape:

Mama Don't Allow It - Julia Lee
Daddy Loves Mommyo - Tommy Duncan
Mama Didn't Lie - Jan Bradley
I'll Go to the Church Again With Momma - Buck Owens
Mama Told Me Not to Come - Randy Newman
Mama Get the Hammer - Bobby Peterson Quintet
Mama Talk To Your Daughter - J. B. Lenoir
A Mother's Love - Earl King
Mama He Treats Your Daughter Mean - Ruth Brown
Let Old Mother Nature Have Her Way - Carl Smith
Mother Earth - Memphis Slim
Mother in Law - Ernie K-Doe
Mother in Law Blues - Little Junior Parker
Mama Tried - Merle Haggard
Gonna Tell Your Mother - Jimmy McCracklin
Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby Standing in the Shadows - Rolling Stones
Mother Fuyer - Dirty Red
Mama Said Knock You Out - LL Cool J

Saturday, October 18, 2008

My Mixtape Brings All the Boys to the Yard


Bob Dylan has a mixtape radio show – it’s on Phantom FM here in Dublin. I like Dylan a little, and I used to love mixtapes. I can’t say I’ve been a faithful listener, but I did catch his holiday theme show last December. He played a bunch of obscuro Christmas records and spewed a surprising lot of between-song patter. Like Joe Strummer during his vanity gig as a BBC World Service DJ, Dylan seemed to be getting off on some kind of midnight hipster Wolfman Jack fantasy. It was a good show, but his shtick did get a little tiresome. Anyway, I like the choice of themes he has used for his shows (“Weather,” “Coffee”, “Trains”, “More Trains,” etc.). So I guess I’ll post my mixtapes using the same themes, and throw in some links where possible. First up is Weather.

Looks like I overlap with BD on three songs, but on two of them, it’s not the same version (see BD’s list at the end of the post)... For all those who still fail to understand that Elvis Presley was once a performer full of only innocence and no artifice, listen to him on I Don’t Care if the Sun Don’t Shine, or any other song on the Sun Sessions LP... The White Stripes are the perfect modern band for the middle aged dude who went through Led Zeppelin, Muddy Waters, Kinks, Buzzcocks and Cramps phases in the 70s and 80s... Epicycle was a band at my high school back then, and props to them for not sounding like Foreigner, whose sampled Cold as Ice chorus is chipmunkized on M.O.P.’s gangsta rap hit, the other redeeming feature of which is a truly monster bass line... Archive.org--a.k.a. the basement of the Internet--has demos from the Warlocks, the precursor to the Grateful Dead... And finally, there are times when I would agree with Youtube user prolo67, who says A Rainy Night in Soho is the best love song ever written. Shame the video features the extra slick 1991 remix (added strings and horns), not the raw, original Poguetry in Motion version.

    The Weather Mixtape
300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues - The White Stripes
Four Strong Winds - Johnny Cash
California Sun - The Ramones
Keep on the Sunny Side - The Carter Family
Have You Ever Seen the Rain - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Gloomy Sunday - Billie Holiday
Life is a Breeze - Epicycle
Cold As ICE - M.O.P.
Johnny Thunder - The Kinks
Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes
A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall - Bob Dylan
Hurricane - The Collins Kids
I Don't Care if the Sun Don't Shine - Elvis Presley
Storm Warning - Mac Rebennack (aka Dr. John)
Who Loves The Sun - Velvet Underground
Rainy Days and Mondays - The Carpenters
Early Morning Rain - The Warlocks
A Rainy Night in Soho - The Pogues

For reference purposes, here’s Bob Dylan’s Weather tape:

Blow Wind Blow - Muddy Waters
You Are My Sunshine - Jimmie Davis
California Sun - Joe Jones
I Don't Care if the Sun Don't Shine - Dean Martin
Just Walking in the Rain - The Prisonaires
After the Clouds Roll Away - The Consolers
The Wind Cries Mary - Jimi Hendrix
Come Rain or Come Shine - Judy Garland
It's Raining - Irma Thomas
Didn't It Rain - Sister Rosetta Tharpe
Raining in my Heart - Slim Harpo
Jamaica Hurricane - Lord Beginner
Let the four Winds Blow - Fats Domino
Stormy Weather - The Spaniels
A Place in the Sun (song) - Stevie Wonder
Summer Wind - Frank Sinatra
Uncloudy Day - The Staple Singers
Keep on the Sunny Side - The Carter Family